Missing Piece

Yesterday Hailey and I went to go and visit my bestie and her little boys and her new baby girl. We had our normal "if... you know if you want... another baby" talk. This is a normal conversation that usually pops up with pretty well everyone these days, and is the norm when I'm visiting my BFF. I guess it's only natural for people to wonder, we did go ahead and have a child so naturally we would be having more then one. I don't blame all the people around us for questioning us, as we did originally talk about there being a possibility of two, well that was until we had the pleasure of parenting one! This is the year of the baby, or babies as most of my friends are reproducing like there is something in the water.

But this isn't the reason behind my blog today, this was infact inspired by a specific conversation I had yesterday with my best bud. She mentioned to me that some how there just was more love in her with each and every child she has had, and I get that. I hear it all the time that if you ever wondered if you would have enough love for more then one kid. She went on to explain that with her second she just felt the love the second he was handed to her, and with her third there was an intense connection before she was even laid on her chest. She also wondered if she was over thinking it as they finally have the "girl baby" they have always wanted. I went home and really thought about this, I knew the second H was handed to me that she was mine, and I loved her more then anything. So I never wondered about my capacity to love another baby. It got me to thinking that with my friend her situation was a little different, as they finally know that their family is complete with the birth of their third child, and that child being a little lady, you know the missing piece. I feel totally whole as a family of three, and maybe that's why there is just no burning desire for more. Sitting there holding the new little peanut I did have a little conversation to myself, and it went something like this "hum... maybe we could do this again" *in the background are three crazy toddlers fighting over balloons, screaming, crying, and running a muck* and that's when reality hit me "nah, just come for baby fixes when you feel this need" and simply handed baby back to mommy and broke up balloon fight.

Maybe it's just because it seems like everyone is literally "doing it" these days that if feel like I have to keep defending myself against the curious, and all the reasons "why" you simply can't have just one. With every week that passes it seems like we are getting rid of something else we should be keeping "just in case" I feel that we are making the best decision for us. I know this may change, and would delight a few people, we are open to changing our position but that dream gets a little foggier with every passing day.

L

Not enough time in the day

Ever feel like you have too much to do and not enough time? Ack! that's exactly what I have been feeling like all week. There is a lot of stuff that has to be done after the little miss goes to bed at 7ish, and there is a lot of stuff that I want to do after she goes to bed! I was torn last night as to what I was going to do with the house to myself, be a good girl and start my book club book that needs to be read (now that there is no more napping I have to read in the evenings and I'm finding this really hard to do), have a bath and try to cure my hunchback (which is better but still is bugging me), work on some of my drawings that I have started to do again (which is what I really wanted to do), watch some PVR'ed tv, or get some work done for Mitch (yup that was low on the priority list!). I decided to get a good chunk of my book read. We are reading the Kite Runner, and  saw the movie when it came out so I have a pretty good idea of what is going to happen so I won't be taking too long to get through it. I'm really enjoying it, but I just was chatting on FB with a new gal from book club and she totally hates it! I dont' know this Chickie too well yet but we clash personalities, so I'm not too surprised that she hates the book. Ha at least it's going to make for an interesting book club....

Last week I went to the art store and bought me some drawing stuff. My friend Mel is an amazing artist and last time I was at her place I noticed that she had some new stuff up, and if she can find time with two kids and one on the way there isn't really any reason why I can't try. Turns out that I really missed it. I took a class 4 years ago, I was intimidated going with her (Mel) and the teacher was a bit of a Nazi when it came to a few things so I really didn't stick with it. Drawing at home at my own pace, picking my own projects is totally more my style. Pretty happy with what I have done too, just takes time to get it all done!

Oh well! if that's the biggest problem I have right now I guess I can handle it!!

L

Slightly out of control

Ever have one of those days where a little of everything goes wrong? Well that's today, and to top it all off I think I pulled something in my back so I'm going around here trying to fix all the problems looking like the hunchback... Ack I don't know how some mommies out there live their lives in an unorganized mess, things do seem to have a way of working out in the end though.

I'm just trying to hold on until 7 tonight when I get to get out for a bit and meet my friends new baby! Man do I love to snuggle them and send them back :) I just have to clean off all the brand new clothes I bought this morning that got covered in a nasty melted mess from H's boots.... *sigh* just part of my horrible morning, of coarse everything I bought for us is super clean..... and I booked a babysitter for tonight and Mitch is going to be home, oh well at least I can get out of here for a few precious moments!

Oh well I think it's time to throw on a movie, make some tea and play some ponies. That always makes everything all better just ask my 2 year old.

L

Stir Crazy!

If you live in Alberta you are aware that there are going to be awful cold days in the winter that make you just want to pull the covers over your head and forget about everything. Normally these days don't really bother me, as that's just what winter here is all about.... but this year being trapped in the house with an extremely busy 2 year old is driving me nuts! Just the thought of piling on all the clothes required to get to the grocery store makes you dig a little farther into your cupboards and make due with what you have. In fact I actually asked my mother in law to bring me over some tomatoes when she was coming for a visit, hey better her out there then me right??

It was so cold out there that all my new and heat efficient windows had frost forming on the inside. Much to H's delight, after busting her with her face plastered to the window to eat "ice cream".

I made use of our three day jammie party by watching a lot of new movies with Hailey sprinkled in with a heavy dose of Beauty and the Beast. I think we probably watched it 20 odd times in three days.... which probably explains a lot of the "crazies" I'm suffering from.... Beeeeeeeeee our guest, be our guest put our service to the test...... and she wonders why I can't sing along to every movie out there!

We made it out today and it wasn't so bad out there, but the jeep had a hard time getting going. It stays parked in our attached garage but I think it just wanted to let me know that it was freaking cold in there for the last few days.

I know that we have had it super easy so far this winter season, which makes me think that maybe we are in for a bit more spells like this. All I know is I'm super grateful that I didn't have a flat tire, my furnace break, lock myself out of my car, or had to walk anywhere... just to name a few things that happened to my friends over the last few days!

Keep warm people!

L

Little Lady

Over the last few weeks we certainly have seen some big changes here at the Carr house, H is sure growing up fast! We have finally finished with diapers and pull-ups and moved right on to big girl panties, Mitch wanted to make the leap before me and I just wanted to use up the rest of the diapers :) Ha I will just give them away, as there is no shortage of people to give them to around here! And with no more diapers came no more napping, both good and bad we are done with it completely. We also did away with the soother last night, although it was a little hairy scary from 2-3 this morning we suffered through! I hope tonight goes better and from here on out she just realizes that it's not an option for her to fall asleep anymore. I also was looking into her crib converter package (we need the bed rails to make it from a day bed into a double) it is proving to be a lot more difficult then I thought it would be so we might actually get my childhood bed set from mom depending on the headache of going with what we have now. Most of the mom's in my mom group are checking out preschools next week, so I probably will be doing that too! I think I would really appreciate having two afternoons a week to myself! Not too sure what I would do with myself but the thought alone is very enticing! All the baby gates/baby proofing items also bit the dust, as we really don't need them and most of the things (aka the baby gate) were more annoying for us to have up then dealing with H in the first place. Not that we took the electrical covers off or anything :) but it's starting to feel like a house again around here!

It's weird to have so much pride for your child that is really gaining a lot of independence, and a sense of sadness too that they no longer really need you to protect them from everything. Guess we must be doing something right as H seems to be hitting all these milestones way before her peers.

This is such a fun stage for me, no more poopy diapers, naps, and soothers we really are entering a new stride with our little big girl. Enter more opinions, more inquisitive questions, more tantrums! This year is totally going to be different for us ;)

L

Dusting off the Blog

New year new ambition to blog a bit more? perhaps, perhaps not let's not get crazy. I read some where that the first 10 days of the year are typical for the way your year is going to play out, hum not to sure I'm in love with that statement. In the first 10 (well today is only the 9th but I'm pretty confident I'm not going to blog two days in a row... I might get a cramp) days we will have attended a funeral, failed to complete a book club book, started a food detox from Christmas goodies, gone to see Beauty and the Beast, congratulated 3 people on new additions to their families, and successfully packed away all of the holiday season. So does 2012 look like it's going to be a gooder? the jury is still out on that, guess I'm just going to have to put my faith in the fact that the Mayans are off on their calculations and even if it is the end of their calender, it's not the end of the world. If the weather has any indication that the world is coming to an end then at least we Edmontonians are going to go out in our T-shirts and flip flops.

This start to the year actually feels real good, as in there were no "New Years Resolutions" set for me! Not that I normally set unrealistic goals or try and make huge changes, maybe it's just a bit of maturity speaking, but I feel no big changes at this time are required. I guess all I'm really hoping for is more fun and adventure in 2012, and with H getting to be the perfect age for a lot more things I'm pretty confident that is going to happen. I wish everyone all the best this year, and as soon as everyone in my family gets a chance to say good bye to Richard tomorrow I think we all can start fresh and celebrate everything that is to come.

L