Sister Wives

Well I'm not sure I have to say more then the title of this blogging entry, what the hell has happened to quality TV programming? Are you kidding me??? Oh TLC I remember the days when you had shows that actually were intelligent to watch, and maybe learn a few things while watching. If I wanted to learn how to redecorate a room, fix a sink or flip a house there was some really good stuff on to make that happen. Move on over Martha Stewart, Trading Spaces is going to show me how to get it done! Don't even get me started on Jon and Kate Plus 8. Most of my friends were watching it long before I had any interest, and by the time I got around to watching them they were splitsville. I think it's gotta be insanely hard to raise that many kids, but do you have to do it all on camera? It's gross how they have essentially exploited the kids to make money, and all I can think about is what happened to the Dionne quintuplets and how damaged those ladies got from making a spectacle of their childhoods. Yes, Kate has some redeeming qualities like she really tries to feed them healthy food, and they always have a clean house, and they are very well provided for, but why does she insist on trying to become a celebrity now instead of having a "normal" job? Maybe she wouldn't beable to go back to being a nurse, but she shouldn't argue that she needs to make a swack of cash to support the kids, because if they weren't good managing all the money they were being paid to expose the family to the masses, shame on them. Ack, I know my friends have mommy love for Kate, but I'm just not feeling it. Besides they have "inspired" other wack-a-do's to go and have large families that are certainly unfit to handle... ahem Octomom.

Sister wives, oh sister wives you are a horrible train wreck of a show, to horrible to look away I suppose. If you are man enough to handle 3 or 4 wives then I guess that's your own deal. All I can hope for is that you stay in Utah with people that understand you. I don't want Hailey to have any Brother-Cousins that's just far too much for me to think about.

L

Comments!

Ack! I have been found out and there are comments from *gasp* people I know. Hahaha guess that's the point right? This blogging thing isn't like a diary where you would rather die then have your big brother read it and share it with all his friends :) I think the more I blog the more comfortable it will get, and perhaps it best be stated to stay off the soapbox on a few of the "hot topics", although I'm sure they make for great reading, I don't really want anyone who doesn't know me to think I'm a crazy manic. After bugging my brother Chad last night on the phone I am hoping that he returns to his blog so I can spy into his life, yes I said it spy. I think that with the combo of me not really liking talking on the phone and him not liking answering the phone makes blogging a good way to stay connected. Plus I really, really like learning about all the stuff that him and Tammy are doing day to day... like I said, I like to spy or if you prefer cyberstock. Sad isn't it? Hey how I spend the precious few free hours in the afternoon are my business :) Plus knowing that he passed his drivers gave me a good reason to call, and got to enjoy a nice chat with Tammy as well. Maybe I will get one of my secret dreams after all... a sister. No pressure Tammy, you have yours and she is super awesome, but that's something I have wanted forever and maybe just maybe this will be a way to get to know you better (infact I feel as it already has).

So off to go spy on some of you and your lives... feel a little violated yet??? well you should :) and now I might be brave enough to leave a comment or two as I know how happy that made me to see that somebody read what I wrote and thought enough to share what they thought.

L

Grateful

I found myself clicking around yesterday and reading a few random strangers blogs, and I have been harbouring huge feeling of gratefulness about my life since finding this one particular ladies blog. I know that she is a friend of my brothers, maybe the wife of a friend actually and I just can't believe how hard she has it. I know I have a good life, and I try not to focus on the negatives, and I realize that blogging can be a cathartic way of dealing with stress but I really have nothing compared to her. I didn't go too far back, it was creepy enough just to be learning so many intimate details of her life and not even knowing her (the beauty of public blogging I guess) but from what I read she has delt with the loss of a child and struggles daily with a son with autism while juggling 3 other kids all home schooled. Craziness. Sometimes I think you just have to put yourself into another persons shoes to re-evaluate how "bad" you really have it, and yes I am incredibly grateful I have a healthy, happy child and get to be the one raising her abit she will be going to public school when the time comes. You could argue that she could lighten her load a little, but when a momma wants to raise her kids a certain way there is nothing that is going to change her mind. I have learned a few things in the last year and a bit with my mom's group and other mommy friends, everyone is going to do things differently and if you try to say something to the contrary to a core belief you will get your head bitten off. End of story. Thank you come again. I know that I have done things my way too. I am a firm believer in breast feeding, do not believe in co-sleeping, have bought into the theroy of "cry it out", made all my own baby food, use disposable diapers, believe in baby wearing, don't feed my baby too much processed food but not crazy obsessed about only organic.... the list goes on and on about what choices you make and everyone has their way and their options. I feel that just being a mom connects our stories even though she has so much more on her plate, and I wish the network of mothers would be bigger with less judgement and more acceptance sometimes to help her and other moms having a hard day or week or year.

I was also inspired by one of her posts regarding her birth story of her youngest. I totally can relate to her story and all the sadness surrounding the arrival of a baby. If you aren't that close to me you wouldn't really know that one of the most terrifying day's of my life was the day my daughter was born. My birth plan was pretty go with the flow, no drugs if I could hack it, but bring them on if need be. After going many many days over due with the peanut I was induced, well we went in for induction the first time only to be sent away due to my OB/GYN's paperwork error, to be admitted the next day. After the fun filled pain inducing tampon started to work it's magic we were off to the races. Escorted up to labour and delivery and began to wait until my body told be it was time to get the party started. Totally was handing everything without a problem, they broke my water and bam! Contractions on top of contractions without a break so it was time to call the miracle man with the epidural. Mitch and I caught a snooze after the pain was gone only to wake up to find out that Hailey wasn't presenting herself in a conducive position for quick labour, so they turned her, twice. Then we got the news that there wasn't anyway that I was going to finish dilating to the full 10 and the recommendation to go to a C-Section. This is where things got scary, they always say to prepare for it, but in your head it's just one of those things that isn't going to happen to you. 30 mins later I was holding my baby and feeling like I wimped out of the work, I didn't feel like I did my duty as a mother and I couldn't relate to all the millions of other moms that had babies. Great hey? I assure you if you need to have a C-Section and you have these feelings they lessen overtime and it gets better, but I wasn't prepared to have a less then TLC Birth Story ending to the birth of my baby. Bastards, I don't know how many of those shows I watched only to be bitterly disappointed about what happened to me. However, those mushy over the top love your kid more then anything feelings were there and that's all the matters in the end.

I love my life, if I learned anything from the blogging momma is that in life you don't have to be a martyr, being a mom is hard enough.

L

Girls just wanna have fun

I just had a really amazing weekend with my best friend, I think I have mentioned that I have great friends before but I really believe I have the best friends in the world. What makes them so great? well lots of things actually, but the best thing about my closest friends is that I'm finally in a spot where I can be totally honest with them and they can be the same with me. It doesn't take much to make me happy :) but there is something wonderful about not having to worry about saying the wrong thing, and if you do it's forgiven or forgotten. Maybe it's a fear of putting yourself out there sometimes that keeps me from making a lot of new friends and letting them really get to know the real me, but for now I'm pretty happy with my close circle of girls that make everything alright when I'm having a craptastic day. I realize in the very near future I'm going to have to make some changes as my two best friends are making some very serious claims to move away. I'm not going to lie this makes me very, very sad but I ultimately want them to be happy, and I will have to deal with the fall out when it actually happens. I guess I just best be getting better about talking on the phone!

My weekend was very full of chatting about everything and nothing at the same time, just like old times when we weren't chasing toddlers and rocking babies. We finally got a chance to sit and eat a warm meal without interruption from our kids or our husbands and really catch up and spill our guts about pretty well anything we wanted to talk about. It feels good that even though we are nearly a decade older (and maybe a decade wiser) that all of the same reasons we have become friends still remains, and not all of the young girl has been taken over by becoming wives and mothers. It was wonderful to spend the time away and not have to worry a second about leaving home. I had a good laugh when I got home due to a wayward text that arrived late from the following week (which I didn't know was late, I had responded like it was new that day) and promptly responded "bastard" to the text about a guy not showing up to work. Mitch got the text I sent back and thought it was a little harsh that I was calling him a "bastard" outta no where... it was funny guess you had to be there :)

I love my friends like sisters, and I hope that I can grow very old still loving my ladies for a very, very long time. Next time we have a girls weekend away though we are going to live it up a little more :) maybe let a few more people in on the fun as I think we started something that needs to be shared amongst other mommies just dying for a night away! I think the best part of the weekend though after it was all said and done was the sheer look of delight on Hailey's face when she realized I was home, absence really does make the heart grow fonder!

L

Sweating to the Oldies

I love to run, for a few minutes a day I can totally lose myself and forget all the stuff that runs my world. However my treadmill and I have a love hate relationship with each other, and recently I have not only fallen off the wagon but got trampled by the horses on the way off. Yesterday I had a little chat with one of my best friends (and I have the BEST friends in the world by the way) and she told me that she is planning on going out running a few nights a week, and it got me to thinking that if she can find time to escape her three kids and all the craziness that comes with them all being under 27 months, then there is no reason in the world that I can't figure out a time to get my growing butt onto the treadmill.

I love it after all right? well I love it after I'm done putting myself through the torture, and there is no denying how it makes me feel when I'm done. The trick of it all is to find a time in my day that works, I have always run in the mid morning, always. Even last year with a newborn I found the time to squeeze out a 40 min run 3-4 times a week (and that's why I looked and felt better last year at this time then I do now). Since I have been home from my trip to Vegas the kidlet has decided to forgo the morning nap, and transitioned to having afternoon naps, fine but there is no way that I'm ready to work out then, so there has been no working out, and a lot of eating... lots of eating. There is zero chance that I'm going to be getting up before Hailey to work out, so that's not even an option, I want to cry a little when I think about that. So that leaves evening runs, and it was fine last night, the only thing I would do differently is eating less dinner because burping it up while trying to keep a decent pace wasn't too much fun (gotta love the tums). So I guess now it's only a matter of fitting in the runs at night, and just going for it. Time to quit whining about the weight situation and do something about it, besides when I'm running, I'm eating better!

Going on a girls weekend tomorrow, first time away from Hailey overnight without Mitch! Should be fun :)

L

List Lover

If you know me you know I'm a little OCD about keeping my house clean, and if you have been around my house in the last year and a half you know that having a baby really puts a crimp in my style. As the old adage goes "sleep when the baby sleeps" is great advice for those that don't hit the sofa with good intentions of napping and find themselves only thinking about the dust bunnies under the stove, or the hair in the sink or how long has it been since I scrubbed the toilets again? So in order to keep the Mr. Clean voices out of my head I have devised a system that works pretty well around here, my lists, and how I "heart" my lists. Similar to a runners "high" I get a cleaners "high" (and not from the chemical fumes either, as we are pretty much a chemical free zone here thanks to the best cleaning cloths in the world my sweet, sweet Norwex) when I see a totally completed list, and then I can finally spend a few guilt free mommy minutes doing something for myself.

I consider myself a master mulitasker, and I'm not saying that you have to be a good mulitasker to be a good mom but it sure helps to keep everything organized before you find yourself in the middle of the supermarket with out a list, with a screaming child who wants a snack and has a wet ass, and no wallet to pay for the groceries. I can honestly say I haven't been in this mess because I love my lists, but have been witness to many friends suffer a near meltdown themselves. To get out of the house I have a mental checklist that has saved me many moments of stress. Maybe it's just that when you have one kid you can keep your brain on track for a few moments of clarity, or maybe it was 10 long months of really broken sleep when we brought our little peanut home that made me rely on writing everything down, but what ever got me into the habit has defiantly made my life simpler.

Even though my house isn't as clean as it used to be I can sleep at night because I know there are better things to spend my time on, this was a process and I'm learning to let go. But when the cleaning bug hits and I'm feeling a little overwhelmed I just have to go spend some time with my PVR and partake in a few episodes of Hoarders and I feel just fine :) I might have a few dust bunnies dwelling in the far corners of my house, but their day's are numbered and it's only a matter of time before they get added to the list.

L

Good Bye Summer

Ack it's really feeling like fall out there, maybe it's because we haven't really seen the sun for a few days now that it's starting to hit home that we will be seeing the white stuff fly here in the next few weeks. Thinking back, I would say we had a pretty good summer here in the Carr house, I just wish we had a few more really hot days to do a few more things I had on the "to do" list this year.

I wanted to take Hailey to Millcreek Pool this summer, as she loves to swim and that place has special meaning for me. I remember going there with my grandma in the summer time, walking down to the pool and filling ourselves full of junk and then burning it off in the pool, while baking in the hot sun. Not to sure it's going to be what I remember it as, when look back at all the things I thought were "awesome" as a kid I am sadly realizing that my perception was hugely deranged. I also wanted to go to the new dinosaur park just out of the city, I spent all summer thinking about it rather then just doing it. That one we will save for next year and Hailey will probably enjoy it a little more. Yet again we didn't go camping this year, Mitch and I talked about it this weekend and decided that next year we will really try. I explained to him that it's our job to make sure that our "little princess" doesn't turn into that! I guess the thing I'm most disappointed about was the lack of usage of the sweet little turtle pool we got for the back yard, there just wasn't that many really nice days to actually use it :( but that bad boy will be ready to go next summer.

We did manage to make it to the city zoo a couple times this summer, and yes I know that our zoo is crappy. I just really liked the petting zoo part, and so did the kid so that's all that matters. Next year she won't be trying to eat the animal poo so I think I will like it even more. We also took in our first Fringe Festable as a family and that was a lot of fun, a little face painting, parachute playing and sand box digging is always a good time. Even though we didn't stay long it was a fun adventure with a couple of good friends and their adorable little boys. Mitch and I defiantly got to get out a little more this summer as a couple, having Mitch's mom here for more visits allowed for us to do just that. Gotta love family! I also took my first vacation away from the munchkin, as we took a working vacation to Vegas at the end of July and it was wonderful to take some time and totally unplug. There is nothing better then sitting on a pool deck reading a book and drinking a chilled beverage to make you realize how much you love your life. Amongst all the play dates, dinner dates, summer walks, and visits with friends I can say we had a really great summer! As sick as it sounds now it's time to start getting ready for Christmas....

L

Pansie Wussy Bambi Pie

I have always been on the side of caution when entering into major decisions in life, I don't spontaneously buy things without some thought, my day is immaculately planned almost minute to minute, and I generally don't like surprises. That being said I'm really not scared to take risks as long as I have given some thought as to why I would do something and then just go for it, accepting the chips as they fall. Which leads me to what has been consuming my thoughts for the last two days, the institution of marriage and all that comes with it.

I know it's not for everybody, as it's been stated to me by quite a few people "you don't have to be married to be committed, being common law entitles you to all the same benefits as being married with out the paperwork". I get that, and I understand why people decide that marriage is not for them, as long as they are not being pansie wussy Bambi pie's about it for fear of failure I can accept it as well. I know the statistics, first marriages have about a 50% chance of ending in divorce, that risk becomes greater with each successive marriage (about 72% for second, and about 85% for third marriages). No doubt it's hard work to be in a serious relationship but I figure people will generally put more effort in if they have taken that step, especially if you have kids I think it's an important one to take. Regardless of that you think about marriage you are either in the "I do" camp or the "hell no, not for me" camp. I'm obviously on the bandwagon, and haven't been to damaged from where I came from to give it a go, and I take my role pretty darn serious.

Ok with that stated and out of the way, I'm about to get to the point. I'm all about being married and I love who I'm married too, I can't imagine someone else filling those shoes. Mitch and I have talked about what would happen if one of us were to die, actually we talk about it a lot as he is in the life insurance game, and we better have our crap together if he is out there ensuring other families are protected. It's not a conversation we love to have but it's out there that if one of us were to die then we would for sure want the other to be happy, I'm not about wanting to lead the life of a spinster and would wish that upon anyone. But I guess the question that has been haunting me for the last two days is how long is long enough to heal after losing someone married or not? I feel that it would take me far longer to feel ready to date and "move on" then Mitch, statistically women do take longer then men, and that's ok, it is what it is. I guess you would never really know until you are there, and nobody wants to be there so why bother thinking about it right? Well I guess sometimes it just makes you think about the "what ifs" when you know someone going through it, you can't help but think would you make the same decisions. I will end this post with as long as you are happy then it's the right decision and I will back you all the way, as long as you are living your life authentically, and not out of fear like a pansie wussy Bambi pie. Would I get married again if something tragic were to happen, being that I'm all about being married? I don't know, and I think that's why I can't let this go. Not sure if that makes me a hypocrite, and that bugs me a bit. I guess we will have to leave that one out in the hypothetical for now as there is no way of knowing unless you are in that exact situation.

L

I Fail

Yikes what a craptastic day, it's 7:27pm let's just call it a day. I have thought about not writing about all the day to day "get the man down" stuff, but life isn't always like that and I think it wouldn't be too realistic going threw my life leaving out all the less then perfect stuff.

Today was really a continuance from yesterday, my engine light came on my jeep again and it's been to the dealership twice already for the same problem. The first time they kept it a week, which nearly killed me as I'm not used to being without wheels for that long, Hailey and I almost went crazy. The only good thing that came from not having my jeep a week I found out a few things about my friends, you know the ones, the ones that do things with you only when it's convenient. Let's just say that helped clear up my schedule when I'm feeling a little too overwhelmed with play dates, check ya later. But anyway, back to the jeep, our buddy Trent (who I'm starting to recognize his voice on the phone, which is never a good thing) called me back and said that they should have the part they need out of Red Deer tomorrow and all should be well (covered under warranty... dam straights there is only like 24 000 km on that bad boy). So being with out vehicle today was a little sucky, but with the really dreary weather outside (which probably didn't help my mood) we stayed in. Hailey gave us a really nasty 2:30 am wake up call this morning and did a fair amount of crying until about 5ish so needless to say there isn't a reasonable amount of caffeine that will save the day from the get go. I guess today didn't totally suck, as the Shaw guy came today and basically tightened up all the connections and fixed our ongoing saga of bad cable connections, why the first guy didn't see that is totally beyond me, but whatever if that means I can access Dora when I need her (like today, doing a stellar job of parenting with the TV). So far so good, I can stop daydreaming of switching to Telus for now. But the biggest problem that sent my day into the crapper was the fact that if I were to fired from my job, I would have been canned today. There is nothing worse then finding out that slacking over the long weekend (the totally awesome weekend I had by the way) caused Mitch to miss a few meetings earlier on in the week and one this morning. Crap, Crap double crap... millions of things to do everyday, better write myself a sticky note or something because I'm pretty sure it's not going to be the last time and that's not acceptable.

Aaaahhh good thing this time there wasn't too many repercussions, but I still feel terrible. Tomorrow should be better, I have book club and on my one night out a month I'm going to rock out... even if it's only with a few other moms and we kinda sorta talk about our book.

On a lighter note, our dinner went really well on Sunday! Everything turned out really great and having my family over was awesome. Like I said we don't need to see each other very often, but when we do it's always a good time.

L

Happy Anniversary!

So yesterday was my hubby and I'm fifth wedding anniversary, and it's amazing thinking back over the last 5 years and not really feeling like that much time has already passed. I'm not really the sentimental type that puts a lot of value in having to make a big deal of something like a 5 year anniversary, but yesterday was exactly what I needed. Mitch stayed home from work and we spent the whole day together as a family, and as family day's go here in the Carr house they are very precious to me, as Mitch spends a lot of time away working.

Today we are having my family over for dinner, and by "my family" I mean my mom, my big bro and girl friend, and little brother. It's been awhile since we were all together, but that's the thing with my family even though we don't see a whole lot of each other it seems to suit us all fine. I know that my mom would probably like to get together with us all a little more, and maybe one day we will get better at making that happen. Mitch and I are going to try to make some traditional German food, we are pretty set to go right now (it's 2 O'clock and we have been prepping since 9) I can see why we don't do this unless it's a holiday! Well I don't have a ton of time right now, so I'm going to go finish getting things all set for tonight, but I thought I would make a quick entry as I'm not sure if I will do anything tomorrow with it being the holiday and all!

L

My Cheating Heart

I have tried to stop thinking about the possibly of breaching our 10 year relationship, but you just haven't been doing it for me anymore. I remember the days when you would give me everything I wanted and more, but recently you are nothing but a bunch of headaches and totally misery... oh Shaw Cable your days are numbered and I'm really feeling the pull to join the dark side, Telus TV. I mean I'm really not asking too much of Shaw on demand, but when a girls gotta have Dora, a girls gotta have Dora! There is nothing that can stop a total meltdown like "Dorda" and nothing that can send this Momma into a frenzy when the craptastic Shaw box decides it's not going to work. We have had a Shaw guy come out and take a look at our set-up after numerous calls into the call center, but like when you take your vehicle to the dealership of coarse everything worked fine when he was here. So after calling about a dozen more times we will be having another tech come and take a look, and if he doesn't resolve the issues, that's it, I'm done, it's totally you not me, we will be over. I guess we have to just wait for the annoying telemarketer from Telus to call about switching over our services, normally a call that would get the ol' pick up hang up move I give to all the telemarketers (don't get me even started on those guys, Telus and The National Post are the absolute worst about calling when we have repeatedly have asked to be taken off the call list) and see what we can get from them to sweeten the deal about switching. The only bad thing about Telus is I think we will have to sign a contract, but we already get our Internet and phone through them so it probably won't be that bad, I mean at least I can PVR a few episodes of Dora and all will be right with the world here at the Carr house.

On a side note I feel good about blogging today, yesterday's first time jitters are over. However I will need to spend a bit more time getting everything to look the way I want, and figure out how to use all the bits and pieces of the provider.

Yay for Friday of a long weekend!

L

Not gonna lie Blogging is a little intimadating...

Over the last few weeks I have been following a few blogs and thought I might try my hand at it. I'm not going to lie I'm really quite intimated by the possibility of somebody actually reading it, while wondering at the same time if I will even have anything interesting to write about.



From what I have gathered from some of the blogs that I follow that it's a little uncool to talk about your day... Crap... being a stay at home mom who has Tree House on non-stop keeps me pretty deprived from what is happening in the real world, so that leaves out the smart witty blog posts about "What the hell is happening in the world today". Ok, then I have the opportunity to blog about all the interesting hobbies and interests I have... Crap... over the last year and a bit of hanging out with baby H, I don't have even the tiniest bit of "self" left to talk about. A little sad isn't it? one might have to say I need to get out a little more, but honestly I do OK in that department, I just do all the G-rated, kid friendly, try to make your child smart activities. Sooo that just leaves me with what goes on here day to day and I guess that's just going to be what the bulk of my blogging is going to be about. If you don't have kids maybe you will be a little bored with the day to day life of a regular mom that has the opportunity to say at home with her growing munchkin, but that's my life and I love my life.



Well it's off to figure out what to make the kidlet for lunch today, hummmm how many day's of PB & J will baby H tolerate? Lol! well I'm not going to push it as that's my standard "out the door, we have somewhere to be in 15 mins" lunch and today I have time to make something a little more gourmet.



L