Runt of the Litter

As my mom said to me a few weeks back "Every family has their problem child" as she was referring to her brother in an awkward conversation we were having regarding an awkward situation that had caused some amount of stress between my grandmother and my mom. Is this true? does every family have a "problem" person that always causes an extra amount of stress or undue problems? Hey I could defiantly red flag a few people that come to mind in my family, but does this give them an excuse to continue the behaviour as nobody expects anything more from them? On more then one occasion I think to myself are we allowing them to misbehave only because we are really scared that they will fail or are we enabling them because it's just easier that way. I have a couple reasons for this post from a few comments coming from a few family members this week that got me to thinking where we all went wrong in the first place. Example number one, my not so baby cousin Tyler. Diagnosed at a very young age with ADHD or something like that, put on various drugs and left to deal with his terrible impulse control. You couldn't make it through a family get together with out hearing the "poor Tyler" story and how everyone feared that he would never amount to anything. He had trouble with school, oh that's because he has ADHD it's the best he can do. He had trouble finishing school, oh that's because he has ADHD and that's the best that he can do. He had trouble holding down a job, oh that's because he has ADHD and that's the best he can do. He had trouble keeping friends, oh that's because he has ADHD and that's the best he can do... the list goes on and on with the excuses allowed for Tyler to basically suck at life. Now I know a "normal" life would defiantly be a lot harder for him to manage, but the fact of the matter is so many people with the same disorder do a dam good job at it, not only excel at life but find that they can use their hyperactive brain to their advantage. I wonder if that's because they were never allowed to use it as an excuse. As I had mentioned in my last post my aunt and uncle stopped by the house on their way back to Saskatchewan and told us that they were totally blown away with how well Tyler was doing on his own. Go figure the kid was tested, and he is doing very well. Now only if he had been given the opportunity a lot sooner would we have seen similar results? I think so, as I really think Tyler learned how to milk his situation and who could blame the kid. Example number two is what started this all. My uncle. Fleeing from all his problems he is jumping ship and moving to BC. The man needs to get some help and everyone is allowing him to just run away. I guess if we don't talk about it, it didn't happen and everything is alright... right? He has had my grandparents fix his problems in the past and his hand is out again looking for his bail out, which will come and he will learn nothing. Hey I'm not saying I want people in my family to fail, but I'm just wondering if these quote "problem" people will keep being a problem if we keep handling the situations that arise in their lives the same. I guess the silver lining in this post is that my little brother Steve who has always done things his own way has finally seemed to find his way and is doing really well. If he can do it, I'm sure a few of the "others" may come around at some point too!

L